Friday, June 27, 2008

Chemistry tutorial was very relaxing. I think because i was prepared for the lesson!
I got the equations correct cause i did memorize. But when everyone stood up, I just stood with
them! hahaha

I passed geog.
Wanted to tell Regina Zhou straight to her face why we talked during lesson!
Its like she didnt even bother to get to know us or even see us since the first lesson!
I bet she doesnt even know the girls names!
All she knows are guys names!

Went to watch Get Smart! Was so bloody funny!
The funny wasnt those lame funny!

Ha, Yongxin just told me that today she went to play pool and the auntie said
her IC was her sister one!
ahhaha!
Poor thing!
I think it may happen to me too!
haiz

*deewy~! 9:05 PM

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Chemistry tutorial is making me sick and scared!
Just yesterday i told JJ that I sure would stand up for today so study group 7.
Turn out ms loon also tested us group 2! I was the 1st person to be called and stand!
Grrr!

Haha i did something stupid! Was very bored so i googled ms loon!
I mean just to see if you know if i blog about her she could read it.
Turn out my blog add wasnt the only one.

*deewy~! 6:15 PM

Friday, June 20, 2008

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it....
-BidWiya
----------------------------------------------------------

The tears, that couldnt come out yesterday, had come.

*deewy~! 8:54 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Yesterday went to school to consult Ms loon for chemistry.
Apparently, i was the only person there. Hahaha kinda expect it.
She sure was very friendly during consultation. Despite that I was also very scared of her!
Its so stressful when doing chem in front of her! Balancing equation i couldnt even do at all!!
When i jokingly told her that maybe i did too much math she told me that i basically couldnt count!
Well i wanted to ans back that it was because of u! Cant u see i am scared of u! hahaha

*deewy~! 5:16 PM

Monday, June 16, 2008

panic attack

All wound up
On the edge
Terrified

Sleep disturbed
Restless mind
Petrified

Bouts of fear
Permeate
All I see

Heightening
Nervousness
Threatens me

I am paralyzed
So afraid to die

Caught off guard
Warning signs
Never show

Tension strikes
Choking me
Worries grow

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly so uptight

Rapid heartbeat pounding through my chest
Agitated body in distress
I feel like I'm in danger
Daily life is strangled by my stress

A stifling surge
Shooting through all my veins
Extreme apprehension
Suddenly I'm insane

Helpless hysteria
A false sense of urgency
Trapped in my phobia
Possessed by anxiety

(from: http://flickr.com/photos/dooop/2371531791/)

The above text really describe how i feel.
I am very panic now.
Dont have enough time to study finish all the topics!
I am so afraid that I wont be able to do most of the exam questions!
I really do want to do well!
But, its getting harder!
This suck!
NOT PREPARED FOR A LEVEL!

*deewy~! 11:26 PM

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Tried to redo vectors again.
Felt so dumb that i got so low for vector test!
After redoing it i basically can do all the questions.
Guess that when u are panic u really screw it up.

Check my junk mail, and realised that some people added me in facebook.
Zhang Yuan added me! Well she is known as Helen Zhang.
At first i thought is my last time relief teacher. But i realised her surname was Goh.
So went to confirm with Jiannan.
We chatted for awhile. Apparently, he was also mugging and on the verged of breaking down!
Guess that i am not the only one.
I really cant wait for the next outing with my primary school friends!
I missed the last outing caused was in Indo to renew my passport.

Ok go study now!

*deewy~! 9:15 PM

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Feel so emotional and want to cry.
Darn oestrogen kicking in!
Guess tonight i cant study.
Currently finding nice photo to express my complicated feeling!

After 1 hr of surfing, i feel better!
And my sis just told me my 4th aunt bought durian and pizza!
JC2 Sux! stuck in sg studying! if not i will be in indo eating durian and pizza!
ahhaha i know its a weird combi of food!

*deewy~! 10:44 PM

Friday, June 13, 2008

Went to study with Elaine and Luxuan.
I wasnt sure if it was fruitful or not but somehow i manage to do some math.
We studied, chit chat, and shared jokes.

Around 12.30pm (after 2.5 hr of studies) I gave up!
I needed a break! Wasted 1 hr before went to eat.
And after asking Jiande to look after our stuff, i kinda regretted asking him!
Cause his looked was so shocked or somehow he didnt wish us approaching him!

After eating, i was quite shocked that i didnt felt sleepy!
Instead, i was pretty awake!
However, the food that i ate, made my tummy feel weird!
I wasnt sure if my period was coming but it was that kinda of cramp feeling.

Later, Elaine went off 1st haha she gave up! so much of wanting to study till 9 pm!
Then later we went home!

Reach home, i really had my period!
The cramp was killing me!
I tried not to eat painkiller.
Plus yesterday JiaJing was saying that we shld learn how to endure it cause later give birth how!
Hahaha i was shocked when she said that! I mean I never thought of the cramp is to train u to endure the pain of giving birth!

*deewy~! 9:05 PM

Thursday, June 12, 2008

One more competition to go!!!!
IT FELT LIKE COMMON TEST HAD JUST FINISHED! The moment I finished shooting!!
Before that I kept on feeling my tummy had been invaded by WORMS!
I was surprised that i didnt really do that badly even though i missed training like nuts!
In fact, i imporve .5%! hahhaah but still had a long way to keep up with Daphe and Yan Ting!
And i Dont have much time left cause last competition is July 2!

Despite being worried that i would have tummy ache after eating some oily food, i still ate nasi lemak! ( Daphne and Yan Ting were saying how hungry i would be later! and i hate feeling hungry!)
And another bad choice: I bought Ice Teh Tarik! CAFFINE MAKES ME HIGH! Plus coach also warned us not to drink that before the competition. But i just drank abit.

We talked a lot!
From jokes to asking how u cross ur legs tell u what u are.
I crossed my right leg over my left leg : I am conservative ( if the other way means you're open).
Another one was ( i couldnt remember what we did): In my past life i was a guy! hahaha.
Then, i saw Jia Lun!! At first, i wasnt sure if its her cause its her back view but it was her SA Orientation tee that caught my attention!
Somehow it felt quite awkward when we hug hahaha.
MISS THOSE FUN TIMES!

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday 9/6/08

After math, went to eat ichiban! YUMMY!
Then, loiter around with the girls.
I also went around to look for bag!
ITS SO HARD TO FIND A NICE BAG!
Most of the bag are FUGLY!
I told Yx that i wanted to have a backpack!
She told me i looked very kiddy with it!
Haiz apparently she wasnt the only one!
Susan said so too. Ser hui hesitated! Which implied yes!
EVEN MY SIS AGREE TOO!
So there it went my wanting for a back pack!

Went back home today! It felt so good! so diff from the time i went back to make passport!
Plus my parents were happy for Tuesday 10 june! cause its D-DAY! =)

*deewy~! 9:01 PM

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

I feel really sick and nervous!
Keep running away from the fact that i need to study!
But I dont feel like doing it!
Its like i dont have enough courage to study!
This really sucks!
And the fact that everyone is studying doesnt motivate me to study!
It just make me feel more sick and nervous!

*deewy~! 11:57 PM

Monday, June 02, 2008

1 week of holiday has just gone!
And I havent really done anything much even though i did study a bit.
I feel very nervous and scared! I dont want to be unprepared for the test!

Today was very happy that i could help my mum out!
Realised how tiring it can be!

Gossip with Yongxin (07s05) in msn.
Gossip does kill time and kill your boredom!
Gossip can also brainwash you!
Gossip also makes u want to tell someone (Elaine) what u gossip about!
Gossip can also make me feel bad at the end of it! ahahha
We talked about someone, talk about how we dont look like our age at all!
Talk about stupid stuff too!
OH I MISS GOING TO SCHOOL NOW!

*deewy~! 1:14 AM